Seven things Lucky 13 and linens can teach you!

Today is our 13th wedding anniversary and I guess I’m tired of seeing everyone go into marriage not realizing what it’s like. For the newlyweds and anyone else looking to make sure they are not alone, trust me, you are not alone!!! After being together 19 years and married 13 of those, we’ve figured a few things out about how to stay married and overcome some obstacles.

  1. It’s very helpful to be on the same shift, days off or you need to be very trusting and relaxed.
  2. Sometimes that unmet expectation, whatever it is, is due to health reasons that neither of you are aware of yet.
  3. Patience, trust, forgiveness and understanding are keys to overcoming many battles.
  4. Family often adds stress unknowingly and it gets a stronger hold the closer the time is to seeing them.
  5. Money and sex really are the reason for so many arguments, but “they” don’t tell you that it’s disguised in other conversations as other issues.
  6. You can’t fool proof your marriage and protect things from happening that could cause a reason for a divorce. The act of anticipating that there might be problems alone invites the problems to the table.
  7. Marriage is hard. It’s really, really hard. Your spouse will hold a mirror for you to reflect every flaw you have physically, spiritually, habitually, personally, emotionally, and you may not like what you see in it. But you need to remain open-minded enough to realize what you see is a reflection of the way you are behaving and not a picture of your spouse.
  8. You will see many marriages dissolve in your lifetime. Sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s your own marriage or your best friend’s or your coworker’s. There’s a reason – it’s hard. There are lots of tips to help you along the way and things that can strengthen your marriage. Some work, some don’t. Do as much as you can together, remember why you fell in love, be patient, be kind, be loving, be sexy and romantic, put your phone down and have conversations, go on adventures together and have dates, play games together, vacation, smile, hug often, have sex, exercise together, cook together, whatever. Take each other out for special occasions and on your 13th wedding anniversary, don’t forget to give each other linens.





Hey Kids!

Hi There – I guess I’ve finally caved and given into the blogging world of WordPress. I blogged for our business, Brass Hammer Designs, for a couple of years via our Gmail business email, but I lost track as our business slowed down with Josh finding a job (after many years without steady work) and then having severe back pain that turned into surgery. It’s been a rough 2 years for us and our business, so I found it difficult to blog. A lot of life has happened though in that 2 years and I feel that it’s time to start seeking inspiration through writing it all down.

First off, I’m guessing you’re wondering who the heck am I?

  • Name: Jen
  • Age: 38 years old
  • Job: I work for a large grocery retailer and am trying to climb the corporate ladder.
  • Family Status: Married for 13 years and 19 years together on the same day. We have zero kids and one dog.
  • Interests: I am seeking adventures in life to start living more passionately. Currently, I’m a kettlebell user and competitor, former barbershop quartet singer, cautious weekend warrior, happy-go-lucky loyal friend who lives to hang out in healthy ways and learn together about life’s offerings.
  • Religion: My husband claims heathen and I’ve started claiming it with him. Actually, I was raised as a Christian, but have started to become enlightened with the Buddhism thought patterns. I’ve found spiritual healing through yoga. My husband calls me his “Buddhist Thug Wife” when we are out on the water and he’s posting pics of my buddhist tattoo….

Why am I writing? I’m craving a change in life and I don’t know where to begin to find it. If we won the lottery and had unlimited funds, there’s no doubt in my mind that we’d live near Cedar Key, FL and fish every day that we possibly can. There is more that we’re seeking together and separately, but I’m not sure at this time what it is. That’s why I’m here. I want to search how to do it and how to eventually retire early. Hopefully my journey will inspire you as I seek these answers and help you find your own answers as well.

So, here’s My Journey Out of the Rat Race.