To my single girlfriends

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My friend posted this meme today with “In search of this man” in the status. Ladies, I like the idea of this letter but did you actually read his request?  I know I’m married and don’t know what it feels like to be in the dating world. I haven’t felt it for a long time, but an observation that I’ve made with my single girlfriends when you are dating is that you DON’T look past his past or your own. You go into every relationship with the expectation that it is going to fail and that this good man is too good to be true. Guess what? So are you.

Don’t get me wrong, I do see ladies get trapped in bad relationships and put up with crap. But that’s just it. You’re not trapped – just break up and move on. Do you or do you not want the relationship you described above? If you’re not a match with someone, fine. But if they are a good man and match your personality, learn how to communicate and recognize your fears – specifically of cheating. Trust me – Talking about your fear of getting cheated on is fine in early stages of a relationship; most men probably are fine with that talk. They know and realize that cheating is something that is painful and hard to get over. But let me tell you from experience, that fear of him cheating on you will ruin your relationship if you don’t let it go. It’s almost like you will speak it into existence. It will indefinitely drive a man away and he will either cheat or break up. Both end in heart break, but what I don’t think you’re noticing is your role in this. Trust is the main point here. If you don’t trust him, he’s not going to stay.

A relationship’s foundation is trust. Some of the responsibility falls on you to give him a chance and look beyond the expected failure. This is how marriage and relationships work.

Obviously there’s so much more to this, but I had to put this somewhere. My friends don’t listen to me when I try to point it out.

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