Let’s face it, PMS (premenstrual syndrome) is real. I turn crazy every three to four weeks. If you are a woman and do not see this change in YOUR OWN behavior, you are most likely in denial. I promise you the week before I have my period, I turn into an instant crazy person. The most recent concern that I have is how it is affecting me at work. I am pretty aware of it at home and I believe my husband is as well and just is careful around me. He treads lightly as to not set me off in any type of way. And I honestly try to keep myself in check and not become too sensitive to things going on around me.
Somehow, I have missed this connection of emotions at work until recently. My boss is only a few years older than me and has felt the cycle in full force. I imagine he has probably started recognizing when to stay away from me. Fortunately he has not said anything, but I fully expect that he thinks it. In my defense, when you combine a micro-manager and a PMS cycle with the micromanaged person, you are asking for an explosion. Now, I do not have an type of emotional outbursts, but I do have a severe lack of patience with him during those weeks.
So seriously, what do I do with this information? My body betrays my mind every few weeks. I cannot keep this pattern up. Every few weeks, I am ready to quit my job. The micromanaging is difficult to deal with as it is, but with the internal emotional betrayal, I stop being productive and start focusing on the wrong things. (Sidebar – was this what my husband was dealing with the past couple of decades? I cannot even imagine dealing with myself that long! Poor schmuck. Wow, I owe him for so many things…. I have a lot of making up to do for this one.) But back to my concerns – not only am I ready to quit my job, but I am starting to act on it. One, I am stressed out a majorly of the week before my period. My patience wears thin and I feel like I cannot handle the daily grind with my position. What?! I am physically reacting to the crazy now, then a week later realizing that I damn near made a huge mistake by changing positions or trying to reach out to another company and look at my options. I made a pact with a friend this week that we are not allowed to make any major decisions when Mother Nature is visiting. She agreed that this is something we have to do as she is just now starting to realize how the crazy comes on with herself. I think I need to add a reminder to my phone as well to tell myself – don’t be crazy. My husband says that I think with my vagina – a little insulting, but you get the point.
Medically speaking, I can say that I am getting help with these fluctuations and hopefully my doctor can figure it out. In the meantime, I rely on a handful of friends and my husband to help me find my sanity and prompt my memory of the betrayal cycle in my life. Seriously, it is so complicated to be a woman in the business world! Do we belong there? YES, of course! Do we need to pay attention to our crazy? Um, yes…. But do not despair ladies – men go through hormonal fluctuations and some type of cycle too. There is no doubt in my mind based on the near 14 year experiment called my marriage! I am pretty sure that the year and a half I have been in my current role, my boss goes through some type of hormonal cycle as well.
What’s my point here? I am just bitching about being a crazy business woman. I cannot wait to get out of the rat race, so I do not have to deal with this any longer. On to better things – like how to find that house that saves us a couple hundred a month, so that we can save more money. Quick update – we decided to let the short sale go because we were not getting younger any faster. Hopefully we will be able to find something else quickly. We decided that we also want to live and not just plan for the future and there were some “living” things we were sacrificing with that purchase. When we had the option to get a release from the contract, we requested it. So, we are on schedule to remove some of our debt this month, but we will not lower our rent/mortgage payment just yet. Hopefully we will find a house that can give us what we need and add a little monthly savings. But if we do not, that is okay with us. We know that we need sanity as well. God knows that I cannot handle another stresser with my crazy cycle…. We are also trying to follow the 50/30/20 rule to try to help us get a good start. Our end goal will be to live on much less than 50%, but we just want to establish some type of good plan to get going better.
And so we continue with our journeys out of the rat race…..
XOXO my friends.