Eating Marital Crow

Ouch. My young, hopeful/semi-afraid, engaged friend just shared this blog about marriage from the perspective of a lady married just over a year and I’m eating a bit of Crow: Is Marriage Really as Hard as People Say? This young lady, Stephanie, does an excellent job describing why the first year of her marriage has been hard, but worth it and how she’s had a lot of positive things come out of it.

I have been guilty saying how hard marriage is to many young, hopeful people. To those people in my life, I want to say I’m sorry. I stated these things as a way to prepare you for how difficult the road might get ahead and I did not mean to paint such a bleak picture. There are so many wonderful things as well and I want to share those too. And to be clear, my friend did not direct her post of Stephanie’s blog to me. She is a dear friend and we share a lot of reality, which she expects from me. But I do not like that I have started to paint such a negative picture for her either in the beginning phases of a wonderful relationship she has started.

In Stephanie’s blog, she talks about marriage being a three legged race and how the couple is awkwardly working towards the same goal. I think the key is exactly what she says: working towards the same goal. Each portion of that three legged team has different strengths and talents and can go different paces, and oftentimes, different directions. The trick in any team sport is to keep in check with those strengths, talents, and paces and keep them going in a mutual direction. And in marriage, it’s no different. A couple gets pulled and pushed in so many directions and communication and trust are the checkpoints. There’s so much in those two words, but if you do them well, you’ll have a lot of hope for your future.

So with that, I want to share 14 positives in for my near 14 year old/5010 day old marriage  (and 7202 day old relationship):

1) I’m married to my best friend still to this day.

2) I cannot imagine my life without him.

3) He is a mirror for me to see when I am beautiful and/or ugly inside and out.

4) He still makes me laugh almost every day.

5) He knows my heart more than anyone else in the world

6) I know his heart better than anyone else in the world, including his mother who thinks otherwise and doesn’t know this blog exists.

7)  He shared his love for music and there are not enough words in my vocabulary to state how blessed I am because of that.

8) He taught me the phrase “Expect the Worst, Hope for the Best”, which has helped my codependent nature cope.

9) He still thinks I am beautiful.

10) I respect the way he hangs in there every single day when I might have given up myself in his shoes.

11) I swear I have a history book with me at all times when he is by my side and I love that. No history professor could teach me the way he does.

12) I love his laugh and when his eyes sparkle with joy.

13) He has supported all of the hobbies that I have had over the years whether they are related to singing, working out or even going to church too much.

14) Most importantly, I am thankful that he has stuck with me all these years and grown up with me. I would not be who I am today without him by my side.

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