Greener Pastures?

Is there such thing as greener pastures? Is ignorance really more bliss? I’m struggling with knowledge right now. I’m struggling with knowing what humans do, what the world is coming to, the freedom of speech taken too far on social media and so many other things. I am craving repreave and I do not know where to find it. Is it in a job? Is it in a new life? Is it in early retirement? Where are the greener pastures? Do they even exist?

Am I just crazy to expect this in life? I’m becoming hopeless in some causes and am starting to feel that we do not make that much of a difference and that the point of life might just be to have fun and live happily. But how do you get there? We reap what we sow and I have sown a few seeds I regret.

I’m drawn to a quote that Henry Rollins (Black Flag’s lead singer) said a while back about lifting weights for solitude:

Henry-Rollins

I do agree. The iron never lies and it is not judgemental. It just teaches me where I am not sharpened and reminds me to work on it. People lie and humanity disappoints me on a daily basis. Social media has made me feel crazy. But lifting weights reminds me of the rawness that I need and I find some solitude there.

Lifting weights is not the only way that I am seeking refuge and solitude right now. I need to meditate more and to do yoga more. But my #1 goal is to figure out how to proceed with my future and still maintain the lifestyle that I have chosen to live. I need to find that balance that I had once before. My goals are all jumbled up and I’m nervous that I am losing myself. I am not above therapy and have started every other week to help explore these feelings further and to define a new path…..

Until then, I’ll be here, logging my journey out of this rat race.

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