Maybe I Don’t Want to Retire

This evening it dawned on me that maybe we’re not looking actually to retire early. Or maybe it is that my definition of retiring early is different than others.

We both know that we want to have a life that is happier. My corporate job is great, but I cannot sit by and watch my husband suffer any more while I grow. Here is a bit of our conversation today since my epiphany:

ME: well I am dead serious about figuring out how to start up a small business in Cedar Key. I think all of your job stresses from the last decade are why you are suffering health issues. A happier state of mind helps a healthier body.

HUSBAND: How could we do that?

ME: I think we need to figure that out. First we need a business plan. But after that, I’m thinking utilize our savings like a few other people we know. I don’t think it’s worth living unhappily until you retire because we will watch ourselves do exactly what we have seen other people do and that is retire and die. Literally.

HUSBAND: I’ll work on that and finding a job that is tolerable.

ME: You do whatever you need to do on the job front here. But I am really thinking we need to set a deadline for ourselves, target it wtih the ideas to move and start a business, cash in some or all of our savings and use that to live on while we set it up.

HUSBAND: But you are growing and getting fulfilled in your work and friends. Baby steps.

ME: Baby I’ll grow wherever you plant me.

I know it’s crazy to think this way sort of, but is it worth your health? You don’t know the things that I see in him. His mental health is shutting down and he’s depressed. The best place on earth for us is Cedar Key and we know we want to live there. Why do we have to wait? Why can’t we figure it out now? We have friends that have taken risks. What really makes us happy?

That’s what it all boils down to. And health insurance…..

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