Are we all alone in this life by choice or by design?
Recently, we had a health ordeal in our couplehood that made me feel we were truly alone. There were occasional people checking in on us, but no one was physically here. And I needed them. I asked for them. And when they said they were available, they backed out when I needed them. Why would they say they were available to help, but not when specifically needed? That’s not helpful. But then some people asked what I need and I can’t tell them what I need. All polite lies anyway and those aren’t helpful either.
I’m sure many people have felt this way and dealt with feelings of disappointment, frustration, and even guilt because they feel ungrateful. That’s what I’ve been feeling all day. And I wonder if that is human nature or if we self inflict these feelings on ourselves. We choose so much of our current state of mind and life, I have to believe we choose loneliness as well.
All of these things make me want to run away to our island. If we can’t find comfort with loved ones, then I just want the two of us to run off into the horizon over our slice of heaven. That’s the only place we find peace.