Throwing in the Towel

That’s It! 

I’m throwing in the towel! 

I’m crying Uncle! 

I cannot do it all! 

I’ve had to slow down with my blogging because I’ve been so busy. My new position with my company has most of my creative energy tied up and any remaining energy is going into my Younique business. I’m spending a lot of time rubbing elbows with leaders I never expected to be around and have started implementing some of Sheryl Sandberg’s methods of asking for help and delegating. 

It’s a fine art and I didn’t realize how easy it is to get in over your head. And I also didn’t realize how I alone I would feel. See, I already have high expectations of myself and get frustrated that I can’t do everything. But when I feel someone else has high expectations of me as well, I feel very alone and like I have no right to ask for help. I try to explain it to my husband, but I’m not sure he understands because things end up back on my plate. I am not sure though if it’s me that takes the task back or if it’s given back. The bills are a good example. I asked my husband to start doing them to learn how much money we have and help me not miss them. Somehow within the very next month, I had them back on my plate. I don’t think he intended for that to happen, but it did. I definitely need to communicate more about this and that’s on me. But the rest is getting him to be an active participant in the chores and tasks that I take on as a woman. 

So tonight, I tried to push the bills back to him after I somehow took them back on the 2nd month after asking for help. He’s doing them now, but not without a lot of arguing. And now I’m sitting in silence feeling like I’ve asked for the most ridiculous request and he is frustrated with many things. He asked me at least 3 times if I was too busy to do them. 

Guys, listen to me. Your wives/partners are overloaded and are doing a lot for you. Is the division of power really even? Are you helping her when she asks or are you pushing back selfishly? It’s hard enough for us to ask for help, but when you push back when we do, it cuts deep. Seriously, I hold a $92k/year job and am operating at that level mentality. When I get home, I’m exhausted. And now I’ve picked up basically a second job to buy my makeup and helps pay more build.   And I feel like I have to justify every purchase and bill decision. I’m tired. Mentally, I do not feel comfortable with all this and I’ve asked for help. I’m dropping the ball and crying Uncle.  

Please let the female blogger world hear my cry and the male blogger world help me find better ways to make the request that I desperately need.