Haiku Journal Day 93 – The Answer is Wholehearted Living

Friends with “answers”
We’re all seeking miracles
Find wholeheartedness

Anxiety comes
And depression ensues us
Numbing behaviors

You’ll stop numbing when
You find out what you’re seeking
And know you’re enough

After studying Brene’ Brown’s work, my journey to retirement is shifting to a journey to wholeheartedness. I still want to retire early and figure out a way that my husband and I can do it, but first, I want to understand how I can be content and happy in the present. There are so many things that I’ve learned about myself this year, it’s difficult to express them all through a daily blog, let alone trying to do it in haiku. 🙂

Basically, I’m learning life is really a bunch of cliche’s.

If it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
There is so much more than easy fixes in this life. Yes, some of these things can help the body tap into it’s own resoures, but WHY are you behaving the way that is counterproductive to your body’s desired state of healthy? Most likely, you’re numbing. WHY? Numbing what?

Time heals everything.
It’s a personal journey. No one else can help you move through it. You need to know why you do anything. Are you seeking unrealistic perfection and is perfection a moving target? It was for me. Nothing in my mind was good enough. I’m not perfect and never will be, but I felt (er….feel) shame that I wasn’t. How ridiculous!

The grass is always greener on the other side.
According to Brene’s work, we live in a state of constant scarcity and comparison. Because of this, we think that everything looks better than the state that we are in. I am learning that my husband and I have moved around everywhere trying to find “better” all the time. Each place that we moved and job that we got, we found that the grass was the same shade of green. In fact, sometimes it was uglier in the new state because we didn’t realize our problems didn’t go away. We weren’t learning our lessons.

Life is too short to be anything but happy.
If you’re not happy in life overall, then there is something you need to change. In the therapy world, there is no right or wrong and feelings are just feelings. When you are happy, you will still feel angry or sad or depressed occasionally. And when you are married, you may hate your partner occasionally. But if this is how you feel most of the time, then you need to make a life change. Period. It is too short to do anything otherwise. Do not live in a state of discontentment.

Stop and smell the roses.
For real, this is what life is all about: Stopping to enjoy the moment; being present and taking mental pictures. If you don’t, you will wake up one day like me and realize you don’t have many memories of the blessings along the way. I’m forty and cannot remember a lot of things that have happened in my past (short-term and long-term). For example, used to write down all of the things that I received as gifts, so I wouldn’t forget. I still forget, but I’m working on taking mental pictures and videos of things around me, so that I can remember them long after they have passed (without actually recording them). The haiku journal is helping me do that and it is helping me realize that one of my numbing behaviors was/is staying busy. I am purposely slowing down and enjoying the slowness. There is no reason to run around like a chicken with it’s head cut off……. There really isn’t. You can be calm, cool and collected at all times, savor the moments by literally engaging all 5 senses. Believe me, it’s worth it.


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