Category Archives: RELATIONSHIPS

Boundaries

Let’s talk boundaries for a minute. I have some friends that will absorb your problems and my problems, combine them and try to repair them and carry our burdens in their prayers and through their day to day lives.

At first, it appears like they are sweet and kind; eventually they lose control of their personal boundaries and begin to resent those they are “helping.”

My question is if this is foreign to anyone else? I watch and can’t figure out why the helpers don’t see they are depleting themselves to the point they are taken for granted and advantage of by the people they intend to help. I observe and realize that I can’t do that because I cherish self-preservation.

So where’s the line? My friends over-extend and I see it all unfold. But where is the line for the rest of?

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Can’t be alone

I am writing because I know I cannot be alone in this. I am the wife of someone who says he is on the same path as me and loves me very much. But there are certian things that we just do not see eye to eye on. Money, of course, is one of them. But I know I can’t be alone in the way I’m thinking.

My husband said last night something that I’m trying to still digest – that a grand idea that I have about money is my latest “Thought Project.” He says I do these every couple of months. So now, I’m wondering if I have a trend or not, which I probably do. And he mentioned the night before about my feelings towards work that maybe it’s my thyroid since I just switched meds. I do not know anymore and he makes me question my brain. My frustration is that he walks away after these defining statements and leaves me in my thoughts and then I go down the road of feeling alone.

The thing is, I know that I am solid with my thoughts and where I want to go. People compliment me on this character trait all the time and say that if I set my mind to something, I go do it and nothing will keep me from it. However, what has came out of the last few years of my mid-life is I feel I do not know how to communicate anymore to get my point across. Am I the only one that struggles with this? I try to say what I want to say and feel that I present myself well, but then most people start responding differently than I expect. Instead of people asking me for clarity on my thoughts, they jump into solving the wrong direction. I feel like I am insane. It makes me want to take a sabbatical and disappear from society for a spell. I feel I need a retreat more than ever away from other people, but I need people to help me through this. I don’t know where to turn.

Really, I can’t be alone in this. Am I? Please comment below if you are struggling with these types of thoughts – I really need to know that I’m not alone on this midlife crisis.